When it comes to modern transportation methods, there are two methods that will always be at war with each other, the bicycle and the motorcycle. While the bicycle has it’s advantages that may make it seem superior to motorcycles (it’s green, it provides exercise, etc.), you’ll realize upon taking a step back and analyzing the cultures that surround them, bikes come in a distant second place. Please consider the following:
Most of us have seen cops on motorcycles, and those cops seem a little more badass than the rest of the force, but what about the cops on bicycles? I’m sure there are situations where cops on bikes are useful, and I’m sure they’re particularly great if you’re ever in a position when you need to outrun the cops… but I bet everyone at their precinct, ESPECIALLY the cops on horses, giggle when the bicycle cops go by.
Adequate head safety is crucial for both bicycles and motorcycles…but that is about all their helmets have in common. When wearing a motorcycle helmet, you look like you just walked out of the video game Metroid. With a bicycle helmet, you look like some nerd who is dressed daily for school or work by his mom… who must also be blind.
Bicycle attire may have motorcycle attire beat in the area of climate control, that’s about it. It’s standard to be sporting the skin of what was another living creature when cruisin on a motorcycle. But bicyclists on the other hand are wearing a synthetic material that is so tight that it too is like a second skin. A skin that leaves nothing to the imagination as to the physical form of the person wearing it. Now on the one hand, this can be totally awesome if it’s being worn by an athlete, but on the other hand it can make everything and everyone uncomfortable when being worn by someone not so physically blessed. And there are a lot of cyclists out there who like to stand when they peddle… Talking about accessories like backpacks – let’s make it clear. An ordinary motorcycle backpack looks way much better than a worn-down school pack so many Sunday cyclists love to wear. Ugh.
Fictional Character Preferences
You know who loved his bike more than anyone else in the whole world? Peewee Herman. Nobody was permitted to get between that obnoxious dork and his wheels. But you know who loved his motorcycle, even though he was never able to cry?…The friggin TERMINATOR! Sorry but I’m going to trust the taste of a heartless cyborg over the preference of some bow-tied, nasally creep any day.
Nonfictional Character Preferences
Sometimes bicyclists and motorcyclists do have some things in common. Lance Armstrong, before his fall from grace, was the poster boy of professional bicycle athletes. Even after his disgrace his achievements are still pretty impressive, even with the drugs. Then on the other side of the cycle spectrum is the infamous Hell’s Angels. There aren’t many authentic tough guys running around that will leave a mark on history like the Angels, and they too were frequently on drugs. The only real difference between the two is the Angels don’t hide their unsavory personalities; while with Armstrong, though the world already knew he was a jerk, still acted surprised when that fact was confirmed.
Personally speaking, after taking these things into consideration, and despite the fact that bicycles may help control my ever widening waistline, and makes my carbon footprint a little less deep, they just don’t even compete with a motorcycle.